A dream wedding can also be celebrated without family and friends. The trend to small, intimate weddings or an “elopement wedding”, is becoming increasingly common.

Find out here why some couples choose a small intimate wedding and how to realize it without offending family and friends.

Here you will find 6 reasons and different opinions of couples who have decided against a big wedding party with friends and families.

1. Intimacy – a moment to pause – to be for yourself

In the digital age with mobile phones, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Co, everyone can be reached anytime, anywhere. In a matter of seconds, photos, texts, and information are shared, read, liked, and rated around the world.  At weddings, in particular, photos are uploaded in real-time and instantly. Before the first official photos of the bride and groom are released, Aunt Martha and cousin Tom have posted a number of photos in their Facebook groups or tweeted in the clique.

We don’t celebrate for the public –

It’s a good thing we’re not public figures. Perhaps Meghan Markle and Prince Harry would rather have married intimately on a small island? Weddings are still social events. The whole wedding and last but not least wedding photos have to withstand the comparison to many other perfectly designed wedding celebrations. We live in a fast-paced era where sometimes the moment to pause is often missing. Almost everything happens in the focus of the public, at least that’s how some couples feel. The trend is slowly changing, even at weddings. “We want more authenticity and intimacy, and we want to move away from commercialization and mere staging,” wishes from more and more freshly engaged couples.

Two people make a precious promise

A wedding – is and remains a wonderful, unique moment. Two people have found each other and make the great promise of love & loyalty. “We don’t want to share this important intimate moment with everyone right away and enjoy the moment and our ceremony here and now,” said Diana and Janusch. “I want the day to be mine and my partner’s.” “It’s not about catering to family, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. And having to meet guests expectations,” says Alina
“It annoys me that many people take pictures with cell phones all the time. I saw that at my friend’s wedding. Photos were also shared that my friend would have not chosen to show and share with the public. Many of the guests simply took pictures all the time and felt just disturbing ”explains Hannah.

2. Individuality and authenticity – ​

We are different – Deviation from the norm

Some couples consciously opt for a small intimate wedding – an “only we experience”. We didn’t want to concentrate on all the organizational stress or guest’s expectations on our wedding day, and rather only focus on us, ”said Gerald after his romantic beach wedding with Maren. Organizing a large wedding and reception and planning that once-in-a-lifetime event, can be exhausting and stressful for any individual. Not everyone has an organizational talent or the time to plunge completely into the wedding organization in addition to everyday work. Despite the anticipation, romance often falls short.
“We wanted a special beach ceremony with sunset photos and sparkling wine by the sea. Planning the wedding, where and on which beach was a lot of fun. Every evening we imagined what it would be like on the beach, ”said Saskia and Friedrich.

3. Expectations from family and friends

There is hardly a person,  who does not have somewhat an idea of how they like their wedding to be. Sometimes it is just a location that prevents them from getting married at home. That is especially true in the case of beach weddings. Well not all US States have beaches, hence you can only elope to make that dream come true.

Not only the expectations of families and friends can be an important reason to opt for a wedding in a small intimate setting. “We wish to add special rituals, songs, and poems into our wedding ceremony and most of my family would not understand or approve of an untraditional wedding. That’s why we got married in secret and eloped,” reveals Lisa and Falk.
“When my colleague asked me the theme of my wedding and whether we like Boho or industrial style, I was totally overwhelmed,” says Pia, laughing.

We don’t let ourselves be pressed into any wedding theme

As different and unique as two people are, they also do not want to be cornered or pushed into an event that doesn’t correspond to their wishes and otherness. Some also do not want to be pressed into thematic templates that the wedding industry suggests. With our way of celebrating a wedding, we would probably offend family members,  since we will not have a “traditional wedding ceremony” as it is usually expected, ”Tanja & Nick explain. (Both are passionate supporters of the Gothic scene, Editor’s note.)

4. Difficult family situations – patchwork families – separated parents

Not everyone in the world has a close, loving, and dynamic relationship with their parents or the rest of the family. There are different family constellations in our society. Interpersonal relationships are not always easy. It can be difficult to plan a traditional wedding where the parents are divorced and not getting along very well. Most couples just don’t want to deal with drama on their wedding day.
Avoid a possible family drama elegantly
But even couples who get on well with their divorced parents or families sometimes opt for a small wedding. A wedding, in particular, is full of emotions, family tradition, and commitment
and shaped with expectations. For some couples, this can lead to conflicts within the family.
“Alessia and I both come from large families with complicated family constellations. Especially since Alessia’s parents, are not getting along since their divorce.  Neither of them wants to see the ex-partner again, ”explains Patrick.
“I would have to choose my father’s or mother’s presence at our wedding. I love them both equally and I don’t want to have to decide. This reasoning in advance takes away the joy of my wedding and brings me enormous stress, ”adds Alessia.

5. Planning stress, pressure, and good advice from all sides

There are couples who just love to be the center of attention at their wedding and for the most part, this is to be expected on a day like that. For other couples, the idea that everything revolves around them gives them stomach aches. The pressure to plan the perfect wedding and the demands of everybody involved are high. In the end, what counts is that the bridal couple and all guests have a great time.
Planning stress and timelines
Some people love to plan events and parties and the idea to organize a big traditional wedding. But others have no interest in it,  and after all, there isn’t an organizational talent in everyone. In addition to the planning stress, compliance with and monitoring schedules, and coordinating service providers and suppliers can get overwhelming.
Planning a wedding takes time
A traditional wedding should be planned at least a year in advance. Popular wedding locations and wedding professionals such as photographers, DJs, and other service providers have to be booked early, especially for weekends. There are only 52 weekends in a year and some can only cater to one event per day.  Designing guest invitations and sending them out in a timely matter, and booking and scheduling all providers is not always so easy. Most couples have to do those things after their regular work schedule or on the weekends.
Opinions of others count?
Everyone knows it, the more opinions one has of family members and acquaintances, the more stressful it is to make a choice. Suddenly everyone has an opinion on how to celebrate or organize the wedding. And some will give ” good advice” without being asked. It becomes even more complicated when the grandparents or parents contribute something to the wedding budget and therefore also expect their opinion or wishes to be taken into account. “We knew in advance that some of the family would be disappointed that they weren’t able to attend our destination wedding. But we described our motives for not wanting any planning stress or pressure on our wedding day. We decided to have an after-wedding party at home once we returned from our elopement. ” says Kathy

6.  Budget – set other priorities– still celebrating

A traditional wedding depending on guest count can run anywhere from $10,000 and up. The average wedding cost in the US is estimated at around $25,000. Some couples are simply not ready to spend this large sum. This does not mean that they are less romantic or that the wedding is not important to them. Future spouses explain that their focus is simply on other things. Some couples already have children together, or would rather invest the money on trips abroad or larger purchases such as land or a home.

Small and intimate – still a dream wedding
Bridal couples who are deciding on a small elopement wedding don’t want to miss out on things. Everything that makes a wedding day so special are implemented just like at any other traditional wedding. Wedding dress, suit, make-up, hairdresser, bridal bouquet, floral decorations, festive food, and above all an intimate photoshoot complete the perfect wedding. There a no limits to imagination. Some couples take their closest family with them and then combine the wedding with a vacation.
Marie and Julian tell how they celebrated their little elopement wedding “ First we wanted to have a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. But in the middle of the planning, we changed our minds. Everything was so overwhelming and luckily we didn’t let anyone in on our wedding plans, apart from our parents. It was important for us to have our parents and siblings attending. We ended up having a small intimate wedding with less than ten guests on the beach of Key Biscayne in Florida.  After the wedding ceremony, the champagne reception and the wonderful photoshoot. We had a casual dinner at a great restaurant and danced all night at a Miami Nightclub. We didn’t even bother to change into different clothes and had our wedding outfit on all day. Wherever we went, people congratulated us. Our parents also enjoyed the day, as they did not have to “share” us with other guests.
Back home, we celebrated an after-wedding party in our yard for the rest of the family and friends. Sure, some were disappointed and expected a big wedding and reception. But when we expressed to them that we wanted our wedding to be just our day many understood. We showed a little wedding movie at the party, toasted, and actually got to relive that day again. We even had our wedding outfits on. If we were asked, we would always choose to do our wedding in the same way. It was simply our dream wedding, ”both confirm radiantly.

Summary – Top 6 facts that speak for a small intimate Getaway Wedding:

1. Intimacy and privacy

Pure romance. Wedding in the here and now for two people in unity. The idea of ​​a traditional wedding with many guests, families, and friends does not have to be your way of celebrating your love for each other.

2. Individuality and authenticity come first.

Elopement-Wedding, intimate and a “decelerated wedding” in the here and now – small and individual wedding, without planning stress. You celebrate the kind of wedding that gives you joy. It is your day!

3. Expectations and presumptions

Planning a large traditional wedding can put enormous pressure on the newlyweds. Everyone in the family or among friends has their own opinion on what a wedding should look like. In the case of an “elopement wedding”, there is no pressure of expectations when it comes to the wedding.

4. Difficult family situations.

Patchwork families or divorced parents can make it difficult to celebrate a wedding at ease. A small intimate wedding can be an option to avoid insoluble family conflicts.

5. Planning stress and timetables

The planning of a wedding is often stressful for couples since many service providers and appointments have to be reconciled. With a smaller wedding or elopement, you avoid this stress.

6. Budget.

The budget doesn’t allow for a big wedding or money will be used for other important purchases like a home.  If couples still want a romantic wedding and don’t wish to sacrifice services from a traditional wedding, the solution is an intimate wedding or elopement wedding. An after-wedding party at home can be held budget-friendly and doesn’t have to have the bells and whistles of a regular reception.

BETTINA KÖBSCHALL – EDITOR, EVENTS AND MORE INC

Conclusion – Modern Lifestyles – Modern Weddings